Global Warming........in your wallets

For several years now, the news cycle has been bombarding us with 2 little words that have become double platinum. The words are oozing with money. They inspire altruism and make some people think that with their concern of it, they have become a better person. No, not operation freedom but Global Warming!

We are constantly shown graphs of how anything from us brushing our teeth to drinking beer causes temperatures to rise. It seems odd that everything is correlated to us causing the Global temperature rise.

We are reminded every day how the Earth would have been so much better off if it wasn't for us. You are shown these pictures of cuddly little birds or some cute animals to the point of acute interest. Then the statement comes that this animal is on the brink of extinction because of man made global warming(and you need to buy a Toyota Prius to save us). We are forced through guilt to buy things that are more expensive but "green".

Lets examine the new Chevy Volt. It is being touted as the car of the future that will put us on the right path to reversing "our damage" to the environment. However, the car runs on electricity using the grid and also requires regular unleaded gas for when the battery runs out(which is after about 70 miles). Well what do you think is used to make electricty, fuel perhaps? To charge this car every night will cost you and fuel for this car will cost you. Also, the price tag for it is around $40k! A honda accord or toyota camry that cost around $20k which get approximately 30mpg will cost you less per mile in the short and long run. The car is "Green" in the fact that it will cost you major denero$$.

Notice how every month is compared to the warmest on record no matter how far off it is. How every single hurricane or rainstorm causes news stations to ask if this could be caused by global warming. Also while presenting it they make it appear like it such a grand and perplexing possibility like they just discovered they have ears on both sides of their head. This doesn't stop when we get to winter time because apparently snow storms are caused by global warming too.

For god's sake, stop it. We only have temperature records dating back a hundred years or so, the rest is still in theory. Weather forecasters can't even predict with decent accuracy what the weather is going to be a week from now, not even mentioning what it will be in 10 or 20 years. If there is one thing we know for sure about the weather, it is that it is variable.

There are many different factors that affect our climate which we have not accounted for yet. For the same reason we cannot predict the weather very well a week from now, we cannot survey correctly our entire climactic system because we do not know of all the variables involved. Our climate goes through cycles not based on our daily commutes but based on ocean circulation and sun output to simplify.

The majority of our planet is covered by ocean and this is the major factor causing climate change. The pacific ocean(happens to be our biggest) goes through a warm or cold cycle, when it changes, we are going to feel it. The past 20 years or so it has been in a warm cycle, the next 10 to 20 years it is going into a cold cycle. We will probably even experience a global cooling in the coming years not because Al Gore's movie reduced co2 output by us human folk but because of our natural climactic cycle.

The global warming swindle is like the following example. The ocean gets warmer and you just happened to take a piss earlier that week. Then your friend observes the water temperature rise and also knows that earlier that week you took a whiz in the ocean. Then, your friend instead of contemplating other factors takes this coincidence and correlates your pissing in the ocean to the ocean getting warmer. Oh and then makes a graph illustrating it while suggesting you piss in the lake to make it better while buying stuff that will help your aim.

Encounter with......evolution

We were feeding some geese at the lake and then some rock n roll bird flew in. It walked from side to side like it just had some fermented fruit sprinkled with some hallucinogen. The bird had spiked hair on its head and was bald on the sides. Is that natural? Maybe someone decided to play a joke on the bird and mess around with it. The poor bugger looked lost to add to it all so we threw it some bread. It had this look of helplessness and sorrow, maybe it was some trait to help it survive, because we instantly felt sorry for it. Perhaps a predator goes to attack it usually and then lets it go out of pity as well, evolution does wonders for it. Might look like a freak, but at least nothing wants to eat it. So, we threw it some bread and unfortunately for the dinosaur mutant drunk bird, one of the geese did not like that it got some bread so the goose chased it away, then flew after it, and gave that retard bird what looked like the avian equivalent of a UFC knockout then waited on top of it for a tapout. The goose landed on top of it and gave it 2-3 nice kicks to the head and the poor bastard stopped moving, so we took off our hats and gave it some silence. We thought our little rock n roll little monster with spiked hair dyed but then after the goose moved away, the little bugger was faking it. We still don't know what kind of bird that was but it was the size of a big duck, bald on sides of head kind of reddish with spiked hair on top of its head. Maybe this is some rapid step in evolution, but what could have caused this? Hold on a second ladies and gentlemen, I think we know why, it must be global warming that's causing this. I don't why that thought hasn't come up before but it always comes in handy when lacking an explanation ;)